I Hate Who I Am letra

I still remember how she walked through my door
Like she belonged there, like she wanted more
I should've known better, I should've seen the red
But I was broken open, let her inside my head
She took my time like it was hers to spend
And I just watched it burn, I didn't try to defend
Now I'm staring at the walls she used to decorate
Every empty corner feels like dead weight
I gave her pieces I can't get back
Now I'm walking through the dark with a hole in my chest
And I hate that I let her in, I hate that I said yes
But I was so damn lonely, I was so damn desperate

And I know it's not her fault, not really
I was the one who opened up so freely
I was the one who thought that she could save me
Now I'm drowning in the silence that she gave me

I hate who I am, I hate what I became
I hate that I remember, I hate that I know her name
I hate that time keeps moving while I'm stuck right here
The worst part isn't losing her, it's the years
It's the years it's gonna take to feel okay again
It's the years of waking up and wondering when
When the hell does this stop hurting, when do I get free
I hate who I am, and she's not even thinking about me

People say move on, like it's something you just do
Like I can flip a switch and not be missing you
But you were in my bloodstream, you were in my bones
And now I'm detoxing from you all alone
I blame myself for every second that I gave
For every I love you that I couldn't save
I was a disappointment waiting to happen
And she saw right through me, she saw me unraveling
I wasn't enough, I was never enough
And I keep replaying it, I keep calling my own bluff
I let her see the worst parts, I let her see me cry
And she left like they all do, no goodbye

And I know it's not her fault, not really
I was the one who opened up so freely
I was the one who thought that she could save me
Now I'm drowning in the silence that she gave me

I hate who I am, I hate what I became
I hate that I remember, I hate that I know her name
I hate that time keeps moving while I'm stuck right here
The worst part isn't losing her, it's the years
It's the years it's gonna take to feel okay again
It's the years of waking up and wondering when
When the hell does this stop hurting, when do I get free
I hate who I am, and she's not even thinking about me

I didn't have a choice, I tell myself at night
But that's a lie I use to make it feel alright
I had a choice, I chose to let her stay
I chose to hand my heart to someone who would walk away
And now I'm in the hole she dug and left behind
And I'm the one still digging, I'm the one who's blind
The time I lost is gone, I know it's gone for good
But the time I haven't lost yet hurts worse than it should
I'm mourning futures that will never come to pass
I'm mourning who I was before I let her in, before this crash
I never had a chance, not really, not with me
I was always gonna end up here, I was always gonna bleed

I hate who I am, I hate what I became
I hate that I remember, I hate that I know her name
I hate that time keeps moving while I'm stuck right here
The worst part isn't losing her, it's the years
It's the years it's gonna take to feel okay again
It's the years of waking up and wondering when
When the hell does this stop hurting, when do I get free
I hate who I am, and she's not even thinking about me

I hate who I am
I hate who I am
And she's not even thinking about me
I hate who I am
I hate who I am
And the years
The years
The years

Maykon Paladino - Letras

• 3am Thoughts
• Coração de Concreto
• Feelings At 2AM
• Fim de Ciclo
• I Hate Who I Am
• Safe and Still
• Second Place
• Still Here
• The Weight Of Empty Chairs
• You're Enough